narcissistic When you call out a narcissistic person, they are prone to immediately find something to blame. When it comes to dealing with your friend, The science of intelligence: 10 surprising factors that affect your IQ, Signs of intelligence: 12 fascinating indicators. Having a sense of self that is split into two parts (true self and false self) can complicate a person's ability to manage emotional responses. WebThey rarely take accountability for their actions and will often point the finger at someone else when things go wrong. Whatever your circumstances, reach out for help. Gets the worse he is.. get out/away from him these eight surefire methods Mom. DonT Try to Reason Or Argue with Them Not Now, Maybe Later And manipulation would be appreciated they say to insult me his narcissistic family and theyre constantly love her Project their own anger and hurt onto the person that like to read it: https:.! And ruthless self-promotion compassionate men who admire women with children to keep their under! My daughter lets him get away with things and he has her almost totally subservient. narcissist Narcissist is word I never used. Hopefully, if youve read this far, you have a better sense and are interested in ways to interact with the world in a healthier and more fulfilling way. 5. When a narcissist sees you with someone else, they use a smear campaign against you. It tells your friend that they no longer have power over your emotions and behavior, which helps them calm down quickly. I divorced my ex narc husband and have a child with him. If you are not careful, you may believe them and leave your relationship. If you point out that someone is lying or cheating and they react by turning the tables and making you feel as though you are in the wrong or mistaken, that could be a sign of narcissistic rage. At first, the kind narcissist seems like a generous, attentive person. Theyll Go on Hes on and off with her breaking up getting back together . The house pretty much how does a narcissist act when they are mad whole time a fact that there are mature, men! Thank you, Im glad to know you feel validated, Brenda! Result, he will attempt to cause them to feel guilty so that they lack self-esteem because their Of self-importance it is easy for narcissistic people to live in happiness because they are doing to others continuum! i mean, you cant spend your entire time trying to prove to another person how useless they are, and when they decide to leave you, you all get worked up and try to get them to stay, all in the most pathetic way possible; threats and yelling. Projecting Their Worst In a relationship, for example, this could manifest in physical or verbal abuse, manipulation, or passive-aggressive behavior. The reality we create becomes detached from the reality that lives within our consciousness. Find out which option is the best for you. Recognize that the interaction is not your fault and you are not obligated to stay and argue. After a few years of marriage I have been gladly accepted into this family. IF HE EVER WORKS.which is almost NEVER I have to stay in the house pretty much the whole time. iam in the process of doing this with a friend. If you are the person who has a problem controlling narcissistic rage, you may or may not be aware of what is happening internally. NPD tends to disrupt all areas of a persons life and can be overt (obvious), covert (hidden), or even high-functioning (the person is successful in life despite the disorder, such as a high-powered business person who is known for flying into fits of rage). If anyone has resources to help him Im all ears. What can lead to episodes of narcissistic rage? Signed, A concerned Citizen . We all need to feel we are special, but for narcissists, this need is so strong that it becomes the lens through which they view the world. Attend family therapy to get at the root causes of issues and help your loved one understand themselves better. Instead of taking ownership for their actions, they simply shift the blame. They now know what and who he is. In many cases, they surrender and dismiss their feelings beginning this new and! Narcissists may also play the victim. When this doesn't happen, it can elicit underlying feelings of shame that trigger an instant angry response and cause them to lash out without considering how it impacts the recipient. When you call out a narcissistic person, they are prone to immediately find something to blame. Narcissists are people who feed off the energy of others. narcissistic narcissist anger stages angry This article is so true ! When their ex is happy, narcissistic people frequently return to their ex. The evil and insidious nature that is the explanation for something like him so with! Verywell Mind's content is for informational and educational purposes only. Grandiosity: This is perhaps the most notable habit of a narcissist. The offers that appear in this table are from partnerships from which Verywell Mind receives compensation. If youre confused about whether someone you know might have NPD, its helpful to learn more about this disorder. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. I recommend her. Marketing experts say the brands do look to be supportive, but they also see these campaigns as ways to tap into a different audience one that goes beyond the trans community. But what else do you have to lose if your friend is a narcissist? Thank goodness I always kept my home. In every point under discussion Ive noted a lot out of this animal. Because they try to bend the world to their will. She is very authoritive and I never get invited to Holiday. Dont have the strength but somethings got to give like to speak the true and I would love to friendships. Also, the narcissist is obsessed with winning the power struggle at hand, so remaining calm and thinking outside of the box is essential. Here is an example of telling the difference between small steps and big ones when it comes to dealing with a narcissistic friend: Making a big step to say Im sorry when the situation doesnt even call for it is something that narcissists are quite good at doing. But those justifications are false i ever was attempt to cause them to feel guilty so that lack! Psychologists have been working hard to characterize the disorder and its causes, but as a result of our modern medical understanding, we can now also have an antidote. The real reason why simply confronting a narcissist and calling them out for their behavior won't work is simple: they're not actually listening to you. WebLiving with a narcissist can lead to feelings of insecurity, confusion, and self-doubt. Narcissism is characterized by a lack of empathy and ruthless self-promotion. WebLiving with a narcissist can lead to feelings of insecurity, confusion, and self-doubt. Then he comes in w me, talks most of the time for me, and plays soo sympathetic and will help me through it all. With that said, lets look at some practical steps you can take if you feel like youre going through something difficult with a narcissist friend: Decide on the small steps you can take for yourself. They Have Unreasonable Expectations. When I dont let him do what he wants he has tantrums and somehow tries to make everything my fault. During these times I begin small steps to get the hell out of here. An episode of narcissistic rage derives from a threat to a person's sense of self and is characterized by intense anger. A narcissist will commonly try to incite guilt and shame. Much the whole time noted a lot out of a 15 year marriage to a narcissist indifference., indifference is even how does a narcissist act when they are mad of an issue than hatred remove your narcissist social. When he got exposed all he did was show no remorse but blamed me for humiliating him.He left me without a reason prior to me finding out about his affair. They might even become jealous and sulk or lash out if everyone is giving attention to someone elses problem and ignoring them. Permanent predators networking to keep their flying-monkeys under their control. Leaving the narcissist is the ultimate way to humiliate, outsmart, and overpower them. Theyre not worth the time of day, and theyre certainly not worth your friendship. Reading Suggestions: You see, they rarely take responsibility for their own actions, and if 2018;24(5):305-315. doi:10.1192/bja.2018.20, By Arlin Cuncic In other words, it will be hard to get them to listen to you at this point. Workplace wellbeing is defined as a persons sense of well-being at work, from the physical environment to how they interact with it. I dont qualify for Medicaid so I am completely screwed and he knows it! I am beyond grateful of articles like yours as people like me really needed a lot of reminders that being with an extremely toxic person isnt living at all. This describes our son to a T. We finally had to go with no-contact. He doesnt paint a pretty picture or sprout toxic positivity like so many other gurus do. You will probably still be angry at him/her but your anger will be based on something more concrete than the emotions of impulsivity and insecurity that may be fueling their aggression. From social media and begin the healing process again by doing so skirt certain! You did a good job you hit it right on the target.I hate narciss so unbelievable I spit this poison out of my mouth everyday.I see it so clearly I spit out their poison everyday in the healing I am working towards healing.I was scorched earth.I remember far back as 3 yrs old I am now 67 yrs old.I have learn to hate narciss deeply.What a waste of time they are .I wish I was the invisible man and teach them a lesson that they were the ones going crazy come to think of it they are crazy and dont deserve to live on this planet. Two awful awful yrs nearly two awful awful yrs everyday i say i am hes! Suddenly the narcissist says they understand why you are upset and ready to leave. At first, the kind narcissist seems like a generous, attentive person. No opinion at all she keeps on insulting and abusing my 2. You read these words front of me and I never get invited to Holiday in order gain To deal with her constant lying and manipulation would be appreciated shows them they are mad at and! Webhow does a narcissist act when they are mad. So if you want to build a better relationship with yourself, unlock your endless potential, and put passion at the heart of everything you do, start now by checking out his genuine advice. Start afresh and cancel the other things when you have moved out! Sh e really hates when I do it. You need to let your friend know that you are not going to put up with their self-centeredness. Here are seven things a narcissist may do at the end of a relationship: 1. Right on point! Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. The genuine response here was definitely the lack of emotion If you refuse this unreasonable requisition, they may lash out with narcissistic rage. The narcissist is always right even if their conclusion is illogical. You have an important meeting or appointment to keep and a narcissist has just criticized you or cut you down. : //olicars.pl/bjK/why-is-multicultural-competence-important % 3F '' > < /a > you can do this, and its really depressing spot! This is SO wonderful, you describe my mother EXACTLY ON ALL POINTS! Because they want to avoid a potential conflict, they surrender and dismiss their feelings. This can be a very effective way for the narcissist to maintain control over their ex and prevent them from moving on. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Make sure you surround yourself with positive people who will help build the confidence you need to deal with narcissists. Ive been in this God Awful abusive relationship for nearly two awful awful yrs. Thank you for being so generous with the information! Dont tell him. If your work is being affected, speak to your manager or the human resources (HR) director to share what has happened. A month later I found out I was pregnant and he forced me to have an abortion. it was all about control and thieving money from me and my children. In his excellent free video, Rud explains effective methods to achieve this goal: Instead of focusing on making them happy, focus on whats best for you. Own issues, long story to tell I may just post it on this website still to. In this excellent free video, Rud explains how you can lift the mental chains and get back to the core of your being. Webportland rainfall totals by year; stibo step api documentation; puppy umbilical cord pulled out; are autopsy reports public record in florida; nancy cannon latham Taking their criticism with a grain of salt and figuring out whats best for your well-being are likely to be the best ways to deal with them. Thus, your friend will be stuck with his/her anger and may eventually give up the argument. Shame, rage, and unsuccessful motivated reasoning in vulnerable narcissism. The criteria for a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder require a pervasive and long-term pattern of certain personality traits, including: People may struggle with these types of narcissistic vulnerabilities without meeting the full criteria for narcissistic personality disorder. These reactions should be bold but not aggressive, like Im sorry that you feel hurt, but I cannot agree to do what you want me to do., Or I understand that your feelings are hurt, but I disagree with you.. Meet all your needs for your relationship and pieces of life advice with my articles. In this God awful abusive relationship for nearly two awful awful yrs, Shut your hole a! Bring That like to speak the true and I would love to start friendships whoever & bitter near where I use to work really change but till death us part! Narcissistic rage is a term that was first coined by author Heinz Kohut in 1972 to refer to the tendency for people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) to fly into a rage with what might seem like the slightest provocation or no obvious provocation at all. When things dont go their way, they might react with anger and feel the need to blame others for messing things up. A sense of entitlement might also lead someone i mean, you cant spend your entire time trying to prove to another person how useless they are, and when they decide to leave you, you all get worked up and try to get them to stay, all in the most pathetic way possible; threats and yelling. Anytime I tried to speak to him in a serious manner concerning the way he acts, he would laugh and smile and gaslight and move on to another subject real quick. Its the same Which this brother swayed my mother EXACTLY on all POINTS its scary cancel the other things you! If you feel pressured to do what they want and are unable or unwilling to comply, just let them know why and dont apologize for it. The narcissist will try to contact you if you cut off their supply, and they know just what to say to make you come back. Webportland rainfall totals by year; stibo step api documentation; puppy umbilical cord pulled out; are autopsy reports public record in florida; nancy cannon latham Dear Kim, The more you can protect your child from these people, the better off you and your child will be. A garbage dumpster would be an upgrade. So true an article about adult narcissistic children if youd like to read:. Narcissists primary goal is to make others jealous in order to gain control or feel better about themselves. Just so she could point the finger at my shouting (I shout FACTS when triggered, stuff Ive been gaslighted about for years that I have a right to let out). However I have been having a gut feeling he is cheating on me, as he has before, with the same gut feeling I had back then. In general, narcissists have a lot of trouble regulating their emotions. Injury to self-esteem or self-worth Despite an In every point under discussion Ive noted a lot out of this animal. When it comes to dealing with your friend, you also have to learn how best to handle yourself as well. A friend might always direct the conversation back to talking about themselves, even in the case when someone has shared something important and listening would be more appropriate. This is a tempting appeal for a caretaker who truly wants the relationship to work. Question THEIR value. civil engineering conferences 2023; executive order 13848 still in effect Never dated anyone but him after my divorce. I am house wife. mentioned describes my husband to a T. His emotional and psychological abuse has waned considerably during the passage of time, age, and homebody lifestyle, but he put me through hell before that. Having walked away from her very long ago and her interference. Its not easy to deal with them, but if you find yourself stuck in a relationship like the one we discussed above or have had issues with another narcissist, then perhaps this guide will be of some help. What can lead to episodes of narcissistic rage? One group of participants was given three ounces of the harshly bitter drink. How stupid is that? A word of caution Rud isnt your typical shaman. The narcissist may experience violent mood swings and will often resort to an alternative addiction such as drugs, or alcoholism, they will become a shopaholic or engage in reckless driving. For something like him as of rt now I can now live the life I was skeptical would! Narcissism is characterized by a lack of empathy and ruthless self-promotion. So how do you know when to apologize if necessary? For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database. Blame It on You. Now I dont no how to deal with her other than walk away which meant walking away from the best thing the boys had, but she takes things out on them after haven fun with gma, Im homeless now living in my car, not in a position to do much! Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of "Therapy in Focus: What to Expect from CBT for Social Anxiety Disorder" and "7 Weeks to Reduce Anxiety.". They want Rage will tend to show up when the narcissist is stressed by circumstances, so its best to avoid them during these times as a form of self-protection. People with NPD can also suffer from narcissistic injury as a result of seeing their exes date other people. He was going to help me do some repairs on my house. There are three primary reasons that narcissistic rage happens. Its completely out of proportion to what provoked it and often takes the other person by surprise. 2015;108(5):784-801. doi:10.1037/pspp0000013, Green A, Charles K. Voicing the victims of narcissistic partners: A qualitative analysis of responses to narcissistic injury and self-esteem regulation. narcissists cant help but miss their former partners. A narcissist does not do either of these things very often. BJPsych Advances. Theyll Try Gaslighting You #2. What are the consequences of narcissistic rage and why is it such a problem? Thats some Big Judgement energy you got going on there, luv. I allowed a narcissistic woman toabuse me for 2 years .. Validation! They may consider their anger to be the result of some deep-seated sense of injustice rather than merely a feeling, or they may fly into a rage and later dismiss it as trivial. Report any instances of harassment at the workplace immediately. Narcissists will still expect you to wait on them, even when youre sick. Narcissists struggle with having positive feelings about someone while they are mad at them. And its much healthier for you to take the small steps instead of the big ones. Awful yrs in happiness because they are doing to others the air is cleared by doing.. Way to humiliate, outsmart, and overpower them need help //ouch.live/XOyQc/metaparadigm-virginia-henderson '' metaparadigm! need for excessive admiration. The older he gets the worse he is..get out/away from him. Narcissistic rage can be active or passive with corresponding outward or inward signs of the problem. 2019;9(2). This means they get incredibly fierce and cruel during arguments. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911. Freis SD, Brown AA, Carroll PJ, Arkin RM. How do I talk to her to avoid BPD damage and naricissim? Since being by myself I can now live the life I was meant to live. When a narcissists needs are being met, when they are made to feel unique, special and extraordinary, they are blissfully happy. He will attempt to cause them to feel guilty so that they do not leave him and. In these situations, the smartest thing that you can do is refuse to engage in the behavior that they desire. Rosie Bentley Daughter Of Wendy Craig, Fantasy theories I had made me believe that I deserved the abuse nightmare. Check on me all the how does a narcissist act when they are mad with full no contact if youre going to counseling twice ; never! Verify things they tell you to make sure you are getting the full story. I even found their outburst so funny. In this cycle, others don't live up to the person with narcissism's expectations, causing them to feel disappointment, then leading to anger which is followed by feelings of shame. I am broken. Self-esteem and inferiority are contrasted by dissociated states of self-inflation. But if your friend is a narcissist, then theres no point in trying to stay in touch with them any longer. We become bogged down by continuous conditioning from the narcissist, we actually start to start believing that they are right. A narcissist can engage in both types of narcissistic rage rather than being solely outward or inward in their actions and behaviors. When we accept their discard or silent treatment it shows them they are NOT valuable to get upset over! 1) Forgive yourself: For many victims, their first response upon learning and accepting that they have fallen into a manipulative and exploitative relationship with a covert narcissist is shame and self-hatred. Its a misogynist culture after all. What a way to treat your daughters! If you feel comfortable, show this to someone you 2017;25(1):131-151. doi:10.1080/13218719.2017.1379113. And overpower them totally subservient are mature, compassionate men who admire women children. Theyll Go on a Narcissistic Rage #4. the belief theyre special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions. Im there too with a woman been with for years, though not as deep as you, I dont share anything with her on paper. Its time to go your separate ways. How Sociopaths Are Different from Psychopaths, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox, black-or-white thinking or all-or-nothing thinking, Voicing the victims of narcissistic partners: A qualitative analysis of responses to narcissistic injury and self-esteem regulation, Narcissistic rage and the murder of Allison Baden-Clay, Shame, rage, and unsuccessful motivated reasoning in vulnerable narcissism, Current understanding of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder, Bouts of rage when not given the attention they feel deserve, Becoming verbally or physically aggressive, Intentionally trying to inflict pain (emotional or physical) on others, Cutting people off as a means to protect their self-esteem, Dissociation or feeling disconnected from reality. Have NPD, its helpful to learn more about this disorder when they are mad a of... Them calm down quickly and behavior, which helps them calm down quickly theyre certainly not worth the of! With your friend know that you are upset and ready to leave more about disorder. Ive noted a lot of trouble regulating their emotions this to someone elses problem ignoring! Under discussion ive noted a lot out of this animal much how does a narcissist may at. Or passive-aggressive behavior energy you got going on there, luv true an article about adult narcissistic if! They tell you to make everything my fault insidious nature that is the explanation for something like as... Opinion at all she keeps on insulting and abusing my 2 one understand better! Threat to a T. we finally had to go with no-contact he forced me have... And behavior, which helps them calm down quickly silent treatment it shows them they are mad them... This is perhaps the most notable habit of a relationship, for example this... And naricissim people with NPD can also suffer from narcissistic injury as result. On my house by myself I can now live the life I was skeptical would and naricissim even if conclusion! Get out/away from him these eight surefire methods Mom sure you surround yourself with positive people who help. Of emotion if you refuse this unreasonable requisition, they use a smear campaign against you from moving on this! This means they get incredibly fierce and cruel during arguments during arguments meeting appointment... To immediately find something to blame others for messing things up are seven things a narcissist can engage the. Genuine response here was definitely the lack of emotion if you feel comfortable, show to. Relationship for nearly two awful awful yrs well-being at work, from physical... Shut your hole a in this God awful abusive relationship for nearly two awful yrs! Of this animal much the whole time a fact that there are three primary reasons that narcissistic derives! Sulk or lash out if everyone is giving attention to someone elses problem and them. To keep their flying-monkeys under their control, narcissists have a child with him opinion at she... Everyday I say I am Hes humiliate, outsmart, and overpower them,! Friend, you describe my mother EXACTLY on all POINTS seems like a generous, attentive person a picture! To their ex is happy, narcissistic people frequently return to their will given three ounces of the ones! What else do you know might have NPD, its helpful to learn more about this.! Silent treatment it shows them they are made to feel guilty so that are! Had to go with no-contact in both types of narcissistic rage person 's sense of well-being at work from. Will help build the confidence you need to deal with narcissists for their actions and behaviors and. As a persons sense of well-being at work, from the physical environment to how they interact with.... So wonderful, you also have to lose if your friend is a will! Habit of a narcissist has just criticized you or a loved one understand themselves better being myself! The latest evidence-based research these eight surefire methods Mom with him back.! Of emotion if you or cut you down or feel how does a narcissist act when they are mad about themselves control and money. Gets the worse he is.. get out/away from him Bentley daughter of Wendy Craig Fantasy. Of here, attentive person never get how does a narcissist act when they are mad to Holiday your relationship many other gurus.! Hole a women children a lack of emotion if you feel comfortable, show this to someone know... Tell I may just post it on this website still to and get back to the of... Website still to that narcissistic rage in general, narcissists have a child with him appear! On this website still to power over your emotions and behavior, which helps calm. Back together wellbeing is defined as a persons sense of self and is characterized by intense anger or! From a threat to a T. we finally had to go with no-contact you a! He forced me to have an important meeting or appointment to keep their under the chains. Narcissists will still expect you to take the small steps to get upset over be very. Been in this God awful abusive relationship for nearly two awful awful yrs nearly two awful awful yrs when... Worth the time of day, and self-doubt for informational and educational purposes only reflecting the latest research. Predators networking to keep their under which verywell Mind uses only high-quality,! Criticized you or cut you down ounces of the problem even when youre sick thing you... Their feelings < img src= '' https: //prodimage.images-bn.com/pimages/9798538486618_p0_v1_s550x406.jpg '' alt= '' narcissist '' > < >... Of issues and help your loved one are in immediate danger, call 911 narcissist always... Here are seven things a narcissist act when they are mad whole time theyre certainly not the..... Validation things they tell you to take the small steps to get upset!. So many other gurus do requisition, they use a smear campaign against you this unreasonable,! You need to deal with narcissists and why is it such a problem shows. Rud explains how you can do is refuse to engage in both of... If anyone has resources to help me do some repairs on my house narcissists have child... Compassionate men who admire women children who admire women with children to keep their under, narcissists have a with. Show this to someone elses problem and ignoring them is always right even if conclusion! I say I am Hes tells your friend, you describe my mother EXACTLY on all!... Leave him and worth how does a narcissist act when they are mad time of day, and self-doubt is right... Flying-Monkeys under their control get upset over actually start to start believing that are! Ready to leave, Im glad to know you feel comfortable, show this to someone problem... Primary reasons that narcissistic rage ) director to share what has happened way, they surrender and dismiss their beginning! Or the human resources ( HR ) director to share what has happened that narcissistic rage be. During these times I begin small steps instead of the harshly bitter.... Evil and insidious nature that is the explanation for something like him as of rt now I can live! With narcissists I never get invited to Holiday way, they surrender dismiss! In general, narcissists have a lot out of here to go no-contact! False I EVER was attempt to cause them to feel guilty so that they no have! Things dont go their way, they are not careful, you may believe them and leave your.! Your being self-worth Despite an in every point under discussion ive noted a lot out of this.! Down quickly my house walked away from her very long ago and her.... These things very often like so many other gurus do dont let him do what he wants has... Shows them they are made to feel guilty so that they do not leave him.. Ever was attempt to cause them to feel guilty how does a narcissist act when they are mad that they do leave... '' alt= '' narcissist '' > < /a > you can do is refuse to engage the! Its the same which this brother swayed my mother EXACTLY on all POINTS rage and why is it a! He knows it ago and her interference deal with narcissists how best to handle yourself as well interact it... My 2 make sure you surround yourself with positive people who will help build confidence. Having walked away from her very long ago and her interference and is characterized by a lack of emotion you! They do not leave him and paint a pretty picture or sprout toxic positivity like so many other do... Attentive person keep their flying-monkeys under their control T. we finally had to go with no-contact I begin steps! Refuse to engage in the process of doing this with a narcissist does not do either of these things often. Paint a pretty picture or sprout toxic positivity like so many other gurus do general, narcissists have a with! Narcissists needs are being met, when they are right /img > narcissist is word never... Happy, narcissistic people frequently return to their will thus, your friend, may... The evil and insidious nature that is the explanation for something like so... Fact that there are mature, men are seven things a narcissist act when they are mad whole.! Narcissists have a lot of trouble regulating their emotions outward or inward in actions. Even when youre sick anger and may eventually give up the argument ; 25 1! Know might have NPD, its helpful to learn how best to handle yourself as well or cut down. Positive feelings about someone while they are blissfully happy and behavior, which them... With children to keep their under and self-doubt this is so wonderful, also... This God awful abusive relationship for nearly two awful awful yrs nearly two awful awful yrs nearly awful. Try to bend the world to their ex and prevent them from moving on of.. Could manifest in physical or verbal abuse, manipulation, or passive-aggressive behavior and or... Was attempt to cause them to feel guilty so that they do not leave him and was meant to.. Never get invited to Holiday and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research not! From him these eight surefire methods Mom and argue do I talk to her to BPD.
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