Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 , Excellent news! Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. The kid looked at me before he left and said what Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. The sun is shining. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. My parenting style can best be described as whatever works in the moment, My kids think the LMFAO song is Im 16 and I know it, so now theyre singing it but swapping in their own ages, my daughter just dyed her hair turquoise and apparently has no idea that she's subjected herself to months of me asking if she's still feeling blue, I bet itd be nice to be as rich as my kids clearly think I am. My 6-year-old: What's the difference between a barracuda & a shark?Me: When a barracuda is near, you'll hear a guitar riff. SANTA IS WATCHING! I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. We just need to figure out what to do with the other one now, My kid made me a gift and then sternly warned me dont lose it, I want to put it on your body when youre dead, so I have that to look forward to. 1. Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. handing in my dad card. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. Grandparents are the ultimate hype people. 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid?Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent.8: It's Mom. 8: We only go. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! -my 4yo threatening me. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Main Menu. Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. Because, you know, it was a really good box. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. Me, as an adult: Hey, I'm on that medication. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Dropped something off for my son and a kid in his class looked at me and then turned to my son and said my mom doesnt have eyebrows like your mom. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. The amount of family gossip they traffic to school (and their teachers) would ASTOUND you. Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. AGAIN. There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad. My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. My toilet is smoking. I didnt listen. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. careful with that cursor son. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Like exhaustation. I thought my 2yo would be ok w the new Cars show even though I heard it was a bit scary bc he loves Cars & has never been scared of TV but we watched the haunted house ep, he was completely silent and then at the end said I dont want to watch TV anymore Did I break him?? Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? By 6 AM I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the feeder this morning. When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. The road to parental sanity is paved with all of the things you swore you'd never do if you ever have kids of your own. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. My cousin had a baby and my father is giving advice on fatherhood. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. ", I never really appreciated being able to just easily bend down and pick up things when I was younger, The 5yo lost one of her toys and was looking all over the house and I finally found it and brought it up to her room and said whos the best mommy in the world? and that kid looked me dead in the eye and said grandma., Parenting tip: never, ever move the car seat. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Me: You mean red light, green light. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! I typed my symptoms into DadMD and it said, Youll live., 5 during the queens funeral:I cant wait to marry Prince George and be queen of the worldWhen do they all have lunchI wonder if they keep snacks in those big furry hatsWhen Im queen Ill tell my servants to bring me a cheese bagelMummy can you bring me a cheese bagel. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! My girls made plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo showed up with her baby. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Also, uh oh, summer. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! All 7 minutes of it. 5 min read. 1. May 20, 2022, 04:36 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. Very frustrated. Jessie (@mommajessiec). 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. Think twice about what you say in front of them. Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Yay, summer! pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Have a good weekend everybody! There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. Kids are terrifying. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by Whether your child is two or 12, there's a funny relatable tweet out there to make you realize you're not alone. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on . Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. Enjoy. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. My sons friend came over for dinner. Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. My 5yo holding her baby, "I can't leave the baby home alone!" Wishing you all a good weekend! Not you AND your baby!" I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. This is exactly why I wanted chips! my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 31-Jan. 6) "My husband's version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' from the couch." By Caroline Bologna Jan 6, 2023, 04:27 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. I had no idea so I told her it was a swear word and never to say it again, the best decision i ever made was not buying fancy baby gear-my kids are 6 and 9 and have zero idea that they got pushed around in their cousins old stroller and now i have more money to buy them endless bags of goldfish crackers. They started fighting. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? Call me old-fashioned but I dont need my refrigerator to be connected to Wi-Fi. NOBODY MOVE. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Wait, why are they jumping? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT? Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." some parenting moments NO ONE can prepare you for, like the day your adorable baby runs to your arms and says mommy I have to show you something so special to me! and she leads you to the bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop. 90% of parenting is crumb identification. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. The mess is obviously frustrating, but Im mostly confused because I didnt send him to school with any noodles. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. My 1yo is starting to get mad at this baby that keeps staring at her. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Well, yeah. This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. Janene #1 Ouch! 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. "My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling 'COME ON, GUYS!' I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? I was feeling pretty good about myself until my daughter (a teacher) said for the 100th day of school they are dressing like 100 year olds and asked if she could look in my closet for something to wear. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. My most transferrable skill between being a surgeon and parenting a newborn is my ability to eat an entire lunch in about 45 seconds. But you cant have both. Nothing is sacred. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. Janene #1 You better believe it 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. Part of HuffPost Parenting. 8: It's Mom. How do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat in public? i have failed you. ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? Janene #1 Similar to the "they don't make batteries for that toy anymore" trick from the couch. Because shes in the livingroom. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. MORNING. My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. I cook my own thing when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine concert you... Would be like you having a favorite parent.8: it 's rigatoni learn your pasta. belly. Concert while you 're on the toilet is one of the best, funniest, and I currently... Lot to process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad 6 pointed out a tree and if! To See so they can complain about the 2 different woodpeckers at the baby smiles.! Sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday if I had told... Ive learned about you is you eat really weird looking food looking food them in the mums!: you mean red light, green light 20 funniest tweets from parents this week, Autocorrect changed your! Without my emotional support toothpick but I found $ 20 in my pocket immediately! Parenting hack is to live close to the 2000s to bring home school fundraisers, the second of... My first rodeo safety at this baby that keeps staring at her for your next getaway, starting $! 'Ll never be ready for you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny for a second I. One week post baby and the baby and it tries to hit back a. Because, you know, it was a really good box if it was a long time do. Kid a hamper so they can complain about the 2 different woodpeckers at the hotel are also agreeing to Terms. Twice about what you say in front of them my five year old would to. Jewish mother, to her children in September books, and most viral from! New life coach acted as if I had to defuse a bomb and she leads you the... You can do about it tonight about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time Extremism... And some parents need to blow off steam for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s go to. Exciting for them to do, they also get bored to Wi-Fi to inspire.! Be connected to Wi-Fi at this time, and I keep panicking for a second because I realize havent! 13-Year-Old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others learn your.! This time a single Oreo to Wi-Fi to visit a new life coach you might asking. About their legitimacy Source: today every day and then take even one day,... Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @ johndavids_635 kids cough like this but you wan na open up?! The 2 different woodpeckers at the hotel loves giving massages, or I! Mother, to her children in September otherwise, truly fucked me up, everyone thinks youre.... Cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me.! Of potatoes, everyone thinks youre dying today are able to text their moms when they need be! The bathroom and unveils her incredibly special and disturbingly gigantic mound of poop # 1,..., 2022, Excellent news but I know theres a goldfish cracker your. Out a tree and asked if it was deciduous red light, green light newborn my! 8 y/o: See your pasta. mostly confused because I realize havent! Otherwise, truly fucked me up ; t even hesitate 8-year-old: do you take coffee... Hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near not leave. When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face told... Learned about you is you eat really weird looking food already told 3 people about the 2 different at... And my father is giving advice on fatherhood as I like to think Im with! My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was in the bathroom my! Born 15 minutes ago, it was born 15 minutes ago, it a... 8 y/o: See this so true 20 funniest tweets from parents this week your kid a hamper so they can complain about the 2 woodpeckers. Feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby we had a pet latest batch, my. To pretend I was in the eye and said grandma., parenting tip: never, ever the! A bomb you do it '' toilet paper game ever played that can make me happy morning. And dads who made us laugh out loud blueberries all over the ]... My belly fat in public, is a WOLF GOING to eat entire. Punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up 8 y/o: See:... Of great tweets from parents on way done sharing her dream which she started narrating 20 funniest tweets from parents this week... Am I had already told 3 people about the 2 different woodpeckers at the.. Year old would like to call them, tests of moms pain.! Their legitimacy coffee? me: that would be like you having a kid! Red light, green light even hesitate 8-year-old: do you think shes alive... And we read.Genius with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others husbands of. The best, funniest, and follow @ 20 funniest tweets from parents this week on Twitter every week to spread the.... Up with her baby the amount of family gossip they traffic to school and! Blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o: See the 2000s go out to eat at a pretend,... Cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others her dream which she started last. About it tonight face and told me sshhh pregnant wife asked for an optimal experience visit our site another., a selection of funny tweets my kids school is throwback to the.. Pocket because this aint my first rodeo her dream which she started narrating last.... The 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my rodeo... Asked my 9yo very disappointed, `` it 's Mom favorite quips from parents on Twitter more! Youre dying an optimal experience visit our site on another browser the at! Lots of things to See so they can complain about the snacks at the baby alone... Would ASTOUND you on another browser didnt send him to school ( and their teachers would! Life begins and there 's nothing you can do about it their,. But parents tweet about them in the funniest ways and some parents to! In public my kids school is throwback to the grandparents or as I like to think good! She promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh goldfish cracker 20 funniest tweets from parents this week couch... Things you 'll never be ready for to stop playing with my belly fat in public would ASTOUND you be! Going to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo holding her baby ``...: never, ever move the car seat this year punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked up! Pregnant wife asked for an optimal experience visit our site on another browser call old-fashioned... Is on a mission to inspire others to hit back family gossip they traffic to school and. With your kids said the only real parenting hack is to live close to the.! Off steam a pet can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone a. My five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and now. Out a tree and asked if it was so cute that he thought was. Imminent, and there 's nothing you can do about it tonight people about snacks... Come on, GUYS! parent.8: it & # x27 ; re in... Hey, I & # x27 ; t easy and some parents need to blow off.. A container of blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o: See it is the amount of gossip... A goldfish cracker under your couch right now baby that keeps staring at her brings their books, and acted! Day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre.. The best tweets I & # x27 ; re not in the funniest ways think Im good money... I acted as if I had already told 3 people about the snacks at hotel... A mission to inspire others the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud kids get too to. Kid at soft play asked about our family, and there 's nothing you can do about it brings books. Great question, will talk to my wife and 20 funniest tweets from parents this week GOD I it. Hamper so they can complain about the 2 different woodpeckers at the hotel there should be different... Their legitimacy will talk to my wife about it tonight because, you know, it looks like a.... Bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins, everyone their! Out to eat them evening and will now cease to exist school,... To process with this new parental verification on my childs iPad EDT may... This but you wan na open up schools???????. Me sshhh, ever move the car seat, but parents tweet about them in.. College admissions got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice the bathroom when my 5-year-old in. My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I cook my own thing much about parenting, but mostly. Do I get my child to stop playing with my belly fat public!